When the gentle breeze blew in, I was sitting on a soft leather chair, stirring a spoonful of spicy oil.
This kind of seasoning, with its solid-liquid meat-like form, always makes me hesitate: if there is too much solid, the color will be too dark and not bright enough; but if there is too much oil, it will look a bit greasy. Of course, no matter which side this balance slides towards, the final taste is always spicy and stimulating. If you are lazy to balance it, it is also a good choice to mix it directly in the noodle soup.
Scoop up some noodle soup with a spoon and moisten the dry mouth, then you can eat the noodles with peace of mind. Sometimes, I am very keen to curl a certain amount of noodles in the spoon, and then eat it with a little bit of soup. But as my phone increasingly occupies the limited ability of my other hand, in the end, I have also become accustomed to picking up a few strands and eating them directly to the end.
Maybe I put too much spicy oil, or it has been a bit too warm recently. In a short while, sweat dripped from my forehead, nose, and eyebrows, and a few drops even fell directly on my glasses. Suddenly, it seemed like there was a filter in front of my eyes, and the images that entered my eyes became distorted and unbalanced.
This damp feeling is not comfortable, and in order to prevent sweat from falling into the food, I had to put down the objects in my hand and use a tissue to wipe my face and take off my glasses. However, the amount of sweat was larger than I thought, and a few wipes could not restore the comfortable dryness. I leaned back and rubbed the lenses more carefully, while waiting for the moisture to dissipate a bit.
Repetitive mechanical activities that are dull and tasteless are always tiring and breed confusion. In the unconscious moments, my thoughts also rolled and surged without any constraints:
2023, it always feels like it has passed too quickly. It's so fast that I haven't even realized it, and the whole calendar has been torn clean; it's so fast that when I recall the bits and pieces of the beginning of the year, it still feels like yesterday, and the scenes, events, and emotions are all vividly remembered.
To be fair, I think this year has been a failure. The growth of my abilities did not meet expectations, and I am still confined to my original circle without any breakthrough achievements. In terms of personality, there doesn't seem to be much progress either. Interacting with others is still chaotic, and my actions are fragmented. Perhaps due to the pressure, not only can I not follow my own expectations, but I have regressed and become more restless and irritable.
Speaking of specific matters, I don't think it's too bad. Although my inner strength is still not strong enough, after sufficient exercise, there has been significant improvement in my physical fitness. In terms of work, I stumbled and completed a relatively important project, which can be considered as "starting and finishing". Even though I am not very satisfied with my technical progress, and this project can be considered the culprit of all the misfortunes this year, I cannot completely ignore the overall gains during the development process.
And then, just as the year was about to smoothly pass the last stretch of the journey, on December 13th, the day after my birthday, and the second day after the final release of the last major version I worked on, I received an invitation from HR and successfully resigned on December 22nd.
So even when looking at it overall, no matter how I try to make up for it, it still feels mediocre. Thinking back to the brief conversation I had with the leader who took over the project, I remember discussing how I viewed the project. I recall that my answer at the time was: I did my best. Just like back then, I omitted countless details and only gave a light answer of three words. At this moment, I still want to use these three words as a summary of the past year, 365 days. Although most of the time, on the balance of the situation, "I did my best" is as lightweight as these three words themselves.
I put my glasses back on, shook my hair, but didn't want to sit up straight and continue facing the remaining food in front of me. Instead, I continued to look outside. At this moment, I have plenty of time, enough to be idle in various senses; and the noodle shop is empty, so the boss probably wouldn't mind if I occupied his space a little longer.
To be honest, rather than comparing life to the boxed chocolates that I have only eaten a few times, I prefer to think of it as the half bowl of noodles with soup left on the table. The shallow taste, accompanied by a relatively smooth texture, is not delicious, but it is not unpleasant either. Occasionally, the closest thing to a crisis is probably when the ramen chefs forget to read the notes and sprinkle a large handful of cilantro as a garnish.
Fortunately, cilantro can be picked out slowly, and in terms of taste, I can mix in some spicy oil to find a bit of excitement. Even if I get tired of eating, I can put down the utensils in my hand and rest for a while.
"In the gap of resting and eating noodles during a long holiday, take a little lazy break" - it sounds a bit awkward, but it is really interesting.
The cool breeze twirled and slipped in, warm, but mixed with a bit of winter's unique chill, making people feel comfortable enough to want to close their eyes.
The sunlight generously spread warmth and seemed to coat everything in a brilliant glow, flickering and attracting those trapped in cages.
I stretched my body a little, adjusted the glasses on my nose, and continued eating the noodles.
-November 20th, Year Gui Mao, auspicious for: starting work, bathing, and traveling.